Introducing...Jake Jordan, Staff Writer
Ok, so I'm not actually a staff writer, more a husband that has been told he can contribute to his wife's blog. Let's just assume I begged for the chance to write for this blog. I'll start by apologizing...For people that did not grow up in the Jordan family household it can take a while to understand us. And by understand, I mean recognize the various pop culture references we use to communicate. We can go around the dinner table (if we uncover it first) and recite line by line random scenes from The Hunt For Red October. I don't know that anyone will really ever understand us, nor get close enough to try. Alison and I have been together for nine years and she still stares at us blankly when the pop culture references abound.
Anyways, I am
employed by married to a wonderful person who allows me to drive her around, carry heavy items, assemble moderately priced pre-made furniture, and other duties as assigned. When I'm not Driving Miss Daisy, I am generally either at work or home perfecting the sarcasm that has made our family mildly tolerable to others for decades. Sarcasm's biggest problem is comprehension. Generally speaking, people that do not understand sarcasm become targets for it. I want to assure most heartily that if you read this blog and do not detect any sarcasm then I'm probably talking about you.
Some people may read this initial entry and think I'm trying too hard to be funny. These would be people that have never met me. If you have met me, you'd know that me trying too hard really shouldn't be a concern. I wrote a paper in high school about how to get through school doing as little work as possible. I got an A. It is my greatest work to date. Yup. I just indicated that my talent peaked in high school.
If you have enjoyed this post, you'll most likely be let down in the future. But if you strongly disliked this contribution, you'll be glad to know it won't hurt my feelings at all if you fake it; I have come to expect it. Yes that is an innuendo.